About Me!

General!

Hi, I am a human that exists, unfortunately or fortunately, I haven't made up my mind on that yet.

It's kind of hard to write about myself, as I've been having an identity crisis for a while now. Who am I? Am I these old ideas I've clung to about myself? What even is a self?

My main online moniker these days is Spoopfrog. IRL-wise, I was named after a murderer from a wanted poster.

Internally, I feel like I am a psychedelic person. The way I grew up approaching the world. Very curious, very captivated by the wonder and mystery of the world. From a young age I was interested in the paranomal and fantastical monsters; UFOs, Aliens, Cryptids, the Bermuda Triangle. Spent hours steeped in encyclopedias and dictionaries. I also really enjoyed the outdoors and camping. Nature teems with interesting and beautiful flora, fauna and minerals. Agate hunting was one of my favorite activities as a child. The world was a vibrant place full of unknown adventures.
Externally, I am reserved, and have become more so as I age. Which is a personality flaw I'd like to remedy at some point. I really do not like being percieved. I'd much rather be unassuming and fade into the background. I stumbled upon the phrase 'cerebral entity' at some point, and I really took a liking to it. Ideally, that's what I would be, an entity existing on the mental plane. Mainly observing, ephemeral to this world. I do often feel like that anyways.

Interests!

I'm interested in a range of things. One of my big interests is computers and computation, I do a decent amount of programming in my spare time. C++ is mainly what I write in, I'm used to it, and it does everything. I should probably become less rigid there and expand my horizons. I am just very picky. I am also a Linux user, which requires a considerably greater amount of effort than using a "user-friendly" OS like Windows, but it is rewarding and fun (Plus actually customizable and not a corporate controlled prison). I use Debian with i3 as my Window Manager. It works fine for me and makes me happy. I'm not too interested in distro-hopping around, I just want something stable that works. [Post hyfetch pic here.]

My 2nd big ?section of interest is in mysticism, the occult and esoteric, spirituality, magick. As well as philosophy. My 'psychedelic nature' leads me on a deep quest for meaning and understanding. My overall views should probably have multiple different pages dedicated to them. I consider myself an Atheist (or sometimes Agnostic) but this creates considerable tension between the desire for, and the looming suspicion there is more to all this. The so called Cosmic Giggle. It's not rational nor logical, which is challenging and quite frankly worrying. Every crank will say this (don't get it twisted, I am largely also just a crank), but I find the epistemological practices of spirituality, and the New Age abyssmal, and the entreprise needs to be explored better, YA (yet another) 'Spiritual Science' enjoyer. Most rationaltards have terrible philosophy of science as well though. The crank nature of New Age, and Schizo theory galore is a large part of it's fun and whimsy, and I contridictorily like engaging in that aspect; As you will see in my batshit insane schizobabble I will inevitiably put up here. I enjoy science, logic, deep and thorough thought, philosophy, and I do care and think its important to uphold the value of Rationality. Philosophically my biggest interest would probably be that of Metaphysics, which I have a toy Metaphysic (albiet schizo) I've been playing with and refining since my Graduation from High School. I've also come to appreciate the otherside of philosophy more, 'How to live a good life', as I've become lost in an incomprehensible world and need guidance on how to live. Over the past year or so, I've been becoming increasing enamored with Buddhism, and feel like it contains deep truth and meaning, as well as Perenial Thought/Christian Mysticism. So perhaps, a glow into a Christian Buddhist of sorts will happen. Buddhism to me currently seems to be one of the best answers to the Human Experience.

3rdly, I'll group my last interests together because meh (Or maybe I'll do four, but this is a lot of text on my interest at this point XD). I am also interested in Math, Logic, and Linguistics (Computation has a similar flavour to all these as well (the first section was more practical-oriented I spose)). Math is just an amazing feat of human engineering, and it digs out extremely interesting patterns from our world. It's very beautiful. I have really taken a liking, probably obsessive to a degree, with defined systems of notation that describe things. Which, I group these four under. Discrete units arranged with rules and such, me very like-y. It's hard to describe, just pretend you get what I'm getting at. Linguistics I enjoy because its another system as such, and logic-ized something I didn't even really realize was logic. Thusly, I've become interested in the creation of a UL (Universal Language), which I am sure I will rant and rave on more at some point on my website. The creation of Leibniz's characteristica universalis. Language is a crucial part of my metaphysic. I like cool pattern-y stuff: Fractals, PCG, RNG, Cellular Automata. I was really interested in Googology for a while. I did conlanging for a while before I got bored of it.

Finally, I do have creative and artistic desires. I have dabbled a bit in various different mediums, but I am becoming less pleased with what I've created. I am kind of a quirked up, wacky, eccentric, meme-y person if you will. Most of my art has ended up being kind of shitpost-y in a way only I can find the artistic value from. And I'm less pleased with that. It's a struggle I have, I want to create something actually artisan that has perceived value to others. I have a game, which I've probably prematurely labelled my 'Magnum Opus', I've been working on a for 2 years-ish now. So I've familiarized and taken an interest in Game Design and Development for the crafting of that project. I would also generally like to improve my artistic ability in multiple different mediums. I would at some point like to write a philosophy book on my Metaphysic, and there's also the afforementioned UL I am interested in making which is also some what an artistic process, at least to my feelings on the matter.