Non-belief

I believe in nothing. At least I aspire to. More specifically, a core belief I feel I hold heavily is the belief in non-belief. This on its face may sound absurd or contradictory, but that’s not the case. Under most dictionary definitions, a belief is defined as something somebody holds a strong conviction in. And a belief I have is that treating concepts, ideas, values and principles in that manner is unhealthy and potentially even harmful to oneself, and the pursuit of truth and understanding.

I think it’s then reasonable to ask, what reason is there to have this non-belief, and how in the world does it benefit you? Beliefs, especially ones held fast with fervent conviction, cloud the mind from being open to accepting new ideas when old ones become challenged and outdated. Even the ability to ponder something in a fair manner can be hindered by the reactions that arise on the arousal of pre-existing belief structures. Belief is also the substrate of ideology, frameworks of rigid beliefs that impose a correct or proper worldview. This allows people acting under ideology to blindly be cruel, dangerous or stupid without consideration and evaluation of the matter itself. We are still battling with century old ideas that, sure have some utility otherwise they would have faded away due to competition with other ideas, however, these ideas keep our thoughts and dialogues anchored in the past. They hold us back, hold science back, and hold the exploration of the truth back. They undoubtedly cause harm in their firm conviction over other values. Belief in this manner leads to scapegoating, creation of the non-believing other, and when taken to the extreme dehumanizes this other. But I also hold space. Space that maybe some wild extreme idea may be true. How can I decide that without exploring it and dutifully pondering it? Most people would take it on belief.

Obviously, one cannot entirely escape the concept of belief. But it's a goal, a place I always try to align my thoughts and viewpoints with. It is reasonable to say that I believe in many things which I do. Some of which are what I call blatantly obvious assumptions, which are arguably beliefs. I believe the sun will come up tomorrow with a great deal of certainty. I believe that people will generally follow the social contract and not murder me and that the food I buy from the grocery store will not be poisonous. But I still try not to hold these or any views with a certain certitude. I am willing to find out I am wrong, I want to, because that’s more interesting and I gain more knowledge and become a better version of myself. For every belief that I have, I try to consider why do I believe this? What data or experiences contribute to this belief? Obviously, it is not an easy task to be aware of everything you believe and why, but I think it's a fruitful and necessary one if we are going to be honest and continue with integrity towards a better world, which is something I value.

I have a lot of values, I probably share values with you in some way or another, there’s at least some overlap. However, I do not let values completely drive my beliefs either. I highly value free speech, but do I value that principle more than someone being able to express heinous hateful speech and spew slurs against subordinate groups? That’s an extremely difficult question, and people are quick to make up their mind one way or the other. If I found out a value I had wasn’t worth it in some case, I would attempt to expel that value or diagnose what went wrong arriving to it. I think being chained to concepts keeps you prisoner from ‘the truth’. Despite having flexible values, I feel non-belief is entangled and inherently linked to other values I have, hence it being a core part of my mental operating system. I value curiosity and wonder. Having an understanding that everything I believe could be false and likely is, opens me and the world up to an immense expanse of near infinite possibilities. I value the marketplace of ideas, dialogue and conversational exchange. The fact that I could be wrong means there’s always something to learn, gain and understand by engaging in conversations, and perhaps I can transmit and receive valuable insights into things yet to have been considered by my interlocutors. I think not believing the fragile infrastructures of man will hold forever, keeping us safe and alive, lets one be more grateful, brings us together in the face of unknown, instead of ignorantly asserting we know best.

Maybe, I will be left behind, while people are off busy, having their life, their goals, and their beliefs sturdily formed. Maybe I will be left always overthinking, being overly charitable, wasting tons of time looking for hidden gems in clumps of coal. But I think people want to be heard and understood, I think that the world wants to be heard and understood. If your mind is always hearing what you already know, what’s already believed, what space and time is left to listen?